This is 40

Charms, L-R: Red spacer from my Mother's jewelry collection; a Dragonfly (gift from cousins); blue spacer from Ma's collection; my WW 20 lb charm; my 40-lb loss reward, a TARDIS!

I've hit another loss milestone.  I've lost forty pounds. The newest charm is a TARDIS, which has multiple meanings for me.  It's one of the first TV shows I remember my Mom watching, and it scared me (the theme music and the "guy in the wheelchair," that I now know as Davros!).  It's a favorite show of me & my husband, who has been so amazing and supportive of me on this journey.  We nicknamed our current home the "TARDIS on the Charles," because of it's location on the river and how it looks so much bigger once you step inside.

We'll be leaving the TARDIS soon for a new home, and I wanted a reminder of the house that we started our family in, and how far we've come since then.  It's the same on this journey of better health and weight loss.  I don't ever want to forget where I've been.  And not out of a fear of "ever going back," but more of an appreciation of who I was at the weight I was at that time.

I have been struggling with the challenge of dealing with external negativity., in different forms:

Passive Aggressive  - and downright aggressive - WW hate:  It's interesting to see the increase of articles posted on social media  since I've come out about using Weight Watchers. Links about diet plans that don't work long-term (think the Biggest Loser contestants), and specifically about Weight Watchers relying on people failing at weight loss and coming back as a revenue stream. I've also started seeing comments on the new SmartPoints system, and how it's worse than the old one, and even a few comments on how it's unhealthy.

I can't argue with numbers of the WW stock going down, or membership numbers down.  But I'm also not sure what that has to do with the HUNDREDS of people I see on  Connect (the WW social feed in their app) that are succeeding, and the people making Lifetime membership and maintaining.

I also can tell you I've felt the best about my eating than I have in a long, LOOONG time.  On this journey I have room to indulge in not-so-healthy-for-me choices in that I can plan for, and NOT feel guilty or beat myself up.  I am learning to make choices, and I'm also understanding the effects of those choices.  I'm learning a life plan, not a quick weight-loss diet plan.

And then there was the salesperson at GNC that trash-talked WW as well, saying "I just can't see how using a point system really works in losing weight."  While trying to upsell me an expensive protein bar instead of my beloved Quest bars, which according to him were filled with artificial sweeteners and worse for my body.  I angrily told him "well, it works for me as I've lost 35 pounds so far," and stormed out of the store, never going back.

Non-Scale Vicory (NSV): This is a shirt I didn't fit in over a year ago.
 Look at how WW "just doesn't work."  Right.

Clean eating vs. "Chemicals."  Posts about how it isn't "real" success unless you've done it without using artificial sweeteners/chemical-filled foods/anything other than "natural" food.  Posts criticizing people eating Halo Top ice cream and other brands of food, even going so far to calling it "cheating!"  What?   I think it's no one's business but their own on what they're eating, and who am I to tell them it's right or wrong?

Weight Loss Surgery vs. Weight Loss Plan/Dieting  I am admitting here; I have in the past been EXTREMELY judgmental with some people on getting WLS in order to lose their weight, and felt a bit smug that I was doing it "the right way."  I was wrong to think that.  SO.  WRONG.  The stories I've read of people struggling the same struggles I have, and the hope and miracles that WLS did for them, and reading the stories on Connect, and I get it now.  It's opened my eyes, and I needed to check my own privilege.

I am SO tired of the gatekeeping around weight loss and getting healthy. What is it saying about ourselves that we not only pass judgement who should and shouldn't lose weight, but then decide it's "real," only on the terms that we decide are acceptable?  Nope, it doesn't work that way.

If you, not society, not a fatphobic doctor, not anyone else, feel like you should make movement and/or weight changes to your body?  DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.  Walking.  Running.  Sweatin' to the Oldies. YOU do YOU.  And I'll be here, rooting for you!