If you attended public schools, more than likely you had gym (or P.E.) class, all the way through high school. If you were a fat kid, this class was the dreaded part of your day. I LOATHED PE. I would do everything and anything to get out of it. There was the glorious month in high school when I was recovering from mono so I couldn't do anything that would damage my spleen. And at least once a month I could claim cramps and sit on the benches. Why did I hate it so much, besides the fact that as an overweight kid I couldn't do a lot of the activities? The environment was less than supportive.
The majority of my phys ed teachers had no tolerance for out of shape students. They used the same motivational tactics I've seen in the military movies my Dad loved: scolding and humiliation. Miss Chris, my 2nd and 3rd grade PE teacher, was the cruelest. She remarked on my chubby legs slowing me down when I couldn't run as fast as my classmates. When we did relay races, if I walked at ALL during the lap, she'd make my whole team run the lap again. This didn't make me the most popular kid in gym class. My mother finally had to intervene to get her to let up on me, which she did...barely.
It was in her classes I first encountered the Presidential Fitness Tests. Every year students went through a routine of shuttle runs, standing long jumps, and other athletic challenges. The teachers would tell you what a kid your age is supposed to be able to do, and then you tried to achieve that metric. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that I never, in all my years doing these tests, "passed."
The gym teachers administering these tests made sure you knew how far below par you were. Of course, my classmates picked up on the teachers distaste of my athletic failings, and their mocking jeers added to the chorus from the teachers. I do blame the example set by those teachers for the bullying I got as a result of not performing well in gym. The kids saw it was okay to mock me. One such teasing session due to a Fitness Test (the long-distance run, if I recall) where I walked instead of ran led to girls teasing me. I ended up fighting back and got my first (and only) suspension.
In the fourth grade, I was put into "Special PE," in order to improve my Presidential Fitness Test scores. Instead of having recess, I and other athletic failures spent our free time running laps, jumping ropes, and other fitness-based exercises in hopes to improve. Instead it got us mocked more by classmates.
It's no wonder that overweight grownups are scared of the gym, or exercising in public. If you grew up in an environment where your attempts were met with ridicule, you'd avoid it like the plague! I tried aerobics in college, then stopped as soon as I discovered the rugby team would watch us through the windows and laugh their asses off. After that, I didn't even attempt anything exercise-related for years. It took having an exercise facility (Curves) that targeted plus-size folk to get me out of the house and moving again.
Now I'm at a place in my life where I am trying to remove the damage of the past. The inner-critics that have the voice of Miss Chris and those other cruel teachers are drowned out by my heavy breathing when working out. While I'm working those demons out, I've decided I want to go back and address another beast: the Fitness Test.
I want to see if I can now pass what I couldn't when I was a kid. I know there's a grownup version, and I might use that as a standard. Do it every year, and see where I fall within the standards. I think I need to do this, and vanquish those demons once and for all.
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